Without Guile

Hit the play yo.

About a year ago this email came across my desktop. I keep it in my Inbox because sometimes I need to laugh out loud.

This email has made it’s rounds through the Internet at least 30 times since last year but for those who haven’t seen it here it is. I think I will start with my favorite.

Olan Mills Awesomeness (all captions under photos):

 

Patrick broke ranks and chose drag over the bow tie.

This photo isn’t discolored. The 70s really were that ‘Orange’.

Just a typical afternoon down on the plantation. In a business suit.

 

Grapefruit smuggling isn’t a crime, but posing it in profile should be.

Oh, this is super. What better way to capture the charm and innocence of a child than to plunk him down amid the coarse trappings of a life lived in pursuit of wealth — oversized bills, an adding machine and the Wall Street Journal — and make him sit inside a briefcase? (They probably just fold up the little demon right in there to carry him home.) The finishing touch is the globe, which completes the portrait of the young Antichrist in Chess King vest and Red Goose loafers, plotting his takeover of the world (insert maniacal laugh). That is, as soon as someone changes his poopy diaper.

You’d think Pearle Vision would throw in another two pairs for free.

It’s so cute when couples have matching hairdos.

Dawn and her recently exhumed sister, Gorgotha, pose with Scraps.

Once they had two or three, how did they ever find enough time alone to make more?

Olan Mills Backdrop #11: The Library, one of their most popular themes, as seen in this photo of the young Unabomber and his wife.

Rejected Toby Keith album cover.

 

Hiroshima, 1945. The last known photo of Kelli and Senor Loco .

B-52’s, the early years.

The Damned …

Nothing says 1973 quite like denim and helmet hair.

Olan Mills backdrop #4: Bucolic Meadow with Split Rail Fence. Is that an animal carcass behind her?

Talk about a third wheel…

Those glasses came free with a purchase of Brut cologne.

A pose like this will get you kicked right out of the Convention.

 

 

At the Southern Baptist Convention?

Thoughtful Lance. Mirthful Lance. Two sides of a delightful coin.

Drake won Bitchin’est Senior Mullet by a landslide.

The Purvis family made several stops along the Oregon Trail to document their six-month journey. This photo was taken just two weeks before the dysentery took Momma to Jesus.

Bobbi isn’t the first waitress to fall for her manager, but she and Dale both got fired from Shoney’s.

Kenneth and his prom date.

And don’t miss the First Presbyterian Players as they perform “Godspell” next Wednesday night in the Fellowship Hall. Childcare will be provided. Please bring a covered dish.

 

She’s looking for the speaker that’s piping in “Muskrat Love” so she can blast it with her laser eyes.

 

 

There is more but I can’t load them.

Who ever put this email together has made my day over and over. Thank you anonymous e mailer.

 

Dig the Old Skool stylings of Rodney O and Joe Cooley. Peace out.

Voting down of the ‘700 Billion Bailout Bill’.

Here is the official tallies:

In Favor:

Dems - 140

Repubs - 65

Against:

Dems - 95

Repubs - 133

 

Since when did the Republican Party become so fiscally responsible?

 

Here’s how Fox (that bastian of free speech) reported the bills failure to pass.

Republicans were quick to blame House Speaker Nancy Pelosi for the bill’s failure, saying a pre-vote speech in which she criticized the Bush administration’s handling of the economy had turned Republican votes against the bailout.

 

 

Enjoy the ‘Failures’.

 

Lyrics:

Don’t speak of safe Messiahs,
A failure of the Modern Man,
To the centre of all life’s desires,
As a whole not an also ran.
Love in a hollow field,
Break the image of your father’s son,
Drawn to an inner feel,
He was thought of as the only one,

He no longer denies,
All the failures of the Modern Man.
He can’t pick sides,
Sees the failures of the Modern Man.
Wise words and sympathy,
Tell the story of our history.
New strength gives a real touch,
Sense and reason make it all too much.
With a strange fatality,
Broke the spirits of a lesser man,
Some other race can see,
In his way he was the only one,
In his way he was the only one.

He no longer denies,
All the failures of the Modern Man.
No, no, no, he can’t pick sides,
Sees the failures of the Modern Man.
Now that it’s time to decide,
In his time he was a total man,
Taken from Caesar’s side,
Kept in silence just to prove who’s wrong.
He no longer denies,
All the failures of the Modern Man.
No, no, no, he can’t pick sides,
Sees the failures of the Modern Man,
All the failures of the Modern Man.

Finger popping, toe tappin’ good feeling.

Hit play, or else. You won’t regret it.

There’s a few reasons propelling this ride and every one of then is connected in it’s own wonderfully chaotic way. “Life, the Universe and Everything”.

My good friend Galen has joined MOG and honestly I swore to myself I wouldn’t do a shout out but I think we have a good chance of roping him in.

I could write volumes about Galen but I won’t. The reason is because I think he is able to show what kind of person he is well enough on his own, that and I think you will benefit by making his acquaintance.

Drop by his page and say HI! here:

http://mog.com/psuedomacabre

 

Cub Scouts started tonight. I am leading the Webelos den this year. On tap for the kids is a really awesome nature scavenger hunt, knife safety, a trip to Just Born candy company, a bike rodeo, and just a ton of other things to do. I lost 2 boys this year but I got 2 more so it evens out at about 7 boys. My assistant Glen is back and I am looking forward to the good time we will have.

I don’t think I mentioned it to often but I am a Scout for life. Some of my fondest memories from my youth has centered around family and Scouts. I enjoyed real personal achievement in Scouts. Growing up without a father my Uncle Bob and my grandfather were my father figures. Uncle Bob really got into Scouts with me and if I can muster half of the enthusiasm for Scouting that he did I think I will do alright. I have a single mom in my den so I have some challenges and big responsibilities to stand up to. I think this will be good for me.

 

I finally tuned all of my guitars to open D. Thanks Annie. Thanks for giving me the kick. I played a rousing rendition of “I Love …”. It’s a song we sing when we feel like being silly. Alex sang “I Love Pokemon”, Baylor sang “I Love Snakes”, Linny sang, “I Love Cast In Bronze” (don’t ask). I sang, “I Love Gyros” and for the first time in a long time I played my no name nylon string. Brand X guitar but what a sound. Wide fretboard and heavy as hell. It’s got a dull tone but you can hammer it as hard as you want and it sounds great for about 10 feet.

 

I bought a piece of music equipment that I think may get the guys together again. By ‘guys’ I mean Galen, Tommy, John, and myself. It’s the kind of prospect that I look forward to. Who knows what may happen. Hopefully more on this later.

 

October is right around the corner. Baylor’s birthday, my anniversary and Halloween. My favorite time of year.

 

 

If your scratching your head wondering about the connections …. let it pass. The connections are personal and they wouldn’t make sense to you anyway.

Here’s to moving forward.

 

Enjoy the tune. It isn’t Coldplay.
I know the original by the Gorillaz and it’s HHT and all but this cover blows away the original in every way. Did I mention my buddy the ‘Monkey Pumper” (aka Galen) turned me on to the Editors?

So over all I feel good, I am buoyant.

700 billion. Defense is the only thing this country will spend more money on in 2008 and that’s by a measly 28 billion.

Today’s news from Washington should be an eye opening experience for many of us.

This is what Bernanke said today:

In the case of Lehman Brothers, a major investment bank, the Federal Reserve and the Treasury declined to commit public funds to support the institution. The failure of Lehman posed risks. But the troubles at Lehman had been well known for some time, and investors clearly recognized–as evidenced, for example, by the high cost of insuring Lehman’s debt in the market for credit default swaps–that the failure of the firm was a significant possibility. Thus, we judged that investors and counter parties had had time to take precautionary measures.

It’s easy to find the stock quote for Lehman Bros. If you look 10 years back LEH had some troubled times prior to hitting a high last year.

 

What bothers me is the call for immunity from court investigations or judicial review.

My question is why.

Giving the Treasury such power is unheard of. At the same time it is stealing some of the power away from the Federal Reserve.

Right now Paulson is in danger of become the most powerful man on the planet. Is he up to the job?

My guess is the Treasury wants to cut out the time spent in litigation. That and other things. I predict we will see more very large corporations and more monopoly suits in our future. ‘Free Market’ is going to get worse before it gets better.

Come to think of it, with bills like the one Paulson/Bernanke are proposing our country is becoming more Socialist. The effect is far worse than any ‘Universal Health Care’ bill.

Please wake up. As citizens of the United States we don’t even have limited control over our government. Paulson/Bernanke are appointees. We didn’t vote for them. Most likely they got the jobs on a word and a hand shake.

Regardless, this is on their watch. LEH was trading at $18.13 in Feb. of 2000. LEH’s high was $82.24 January of last year. Today its at $0. In fact it isn’t trading at all. I know somebody got out in the nick of time.

I mad as hell that our lawmakers would even think this is okay.

Thank god for an issue Pubs and Crats could agree on. I just hope those on both sides of the aisle stick to their guns.

Call your Congressman or Senator and tell them you don’t like this idea. Please exercise the power you have left.

 

If your interested this is what I came across:

 

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=94929047&;ft=1&f=3

http://www.usgovernmentspending.com/

http://calculatedrisk.blogspot.com/2008/09/bernankes-senate-testimony.html

I got the title of the post from that one.

http://www.federalreserve.gov/newsevents/testimony/bernanke20080923a1.htm

And for you graphic folks.

http://moneycentral.msn.com/investor/charts/chartdl.aspx?3=0&;ComparisonsForm=1&D4=1&ViewType=0&D5=0&ShowChtBt=Refresh+Chart&DateRangeForm=1&CE=0&Symbol=LEH&C9=0&DisplayForm=1&CP=0&PT=3

 

The Slits - Ping Pong Affair (1979)

Tune:

 

 

Lyrics:

I knew you were sitting in your room all alone
I knew I was the only girl for you
You have told me so
But somehow it slipped my mind
Whilst walking home
Whilst you were sulking I could have been raped
In Ladbroke Grove
Well you can take your records back
And take your comics too
I’m going to have some fun tonight
Life with or without you

So I spend an evening
Without getting my face cut
And another evening
Without getting run over
Again another evening without falling in love
So I listen to the radio
Smoke a cigarette
Same old thing, yeah I know
Everybody does it

Six months
Have passed, now try become between us
I never missed you, only sometimes
Dreaming on a bus
There is absolutley no doubt in my mind
That you and I have grown apart
For the first time
Seeing you with other girls
Sometimes bothers me
But I don’t want to play those games
They’re just not interesting

So I spend an evening
Without getting my face cut
And another evening
Without getting run over
Again another evening without falling in love
So I listen to the radio
Smoke a cigarette
Same old thing, yeah I know
Everybody does it

Since yesterday, like I heard your voice behind me
I froze on the spot, did not turn around
In case you’d find me
I think you lied or you can’t tell
Tell the truth
You didn’t want me, you wanted someone else
Who’d give you proof
But I can’t trust the feelings rushing through my head
I’d wait for you to call me nights
And come to me instead

So I spend an evening
Without getting my face cut
And another evening
Without getting run over
Again another evening without falling in love
So listen to the radio
Smoke a cigeratte
Same old thing, yeah you know
Eveybody does it

 

 

I dedicate this one to Keith.

Spin it now, that means hit the button.

 

I was 18. She was 21.

C. had a bad family scene. Dad died in what she thought was a crime hit. Her sister brutally murdered after C. and I had dinner with her. Her mom was a painted lady, the only thing I can use as an analogy is this;

Think about a woman in her late 50’s, she was a clothes horse and she looked like she bought her cosmetics at a beauty supply store on Long Island. Tammy Faye was an amateur compared to C’s mom. Over all she was a nice lady and I think she thought I could level C. out a bit. Ha! No chance of that.

I had so many firsts with C. except the big one.

I met C. when I was shopping for a prom suit. I graduated in ‘88 so you could probably guess how it looked. My date was Beth Gaugler. Her and I shared a healthy like of Depche, Cure, Milkmen, REM, ….. you get the picture. We were teenagers living the teenager life. At that point in my life I had yet moved to the harder forms of recreational drug use. Pot and beer. Once in awhile shrooms but they were hard for me to get.

Beth had this cute little wisp of a hair that hung from her left bang. She was friendly, academically sound, and sort of an outsider among the popular crowd.

Anyway I was looking for a suit. Kevin Mory (destined to be a guitar god), Keith Schliecher (his nickname was ‘Stiffy’, funny story) and I headed to the mall to pick out some class A duds. Into the store ‘Jeans West’ I went.

To make a long story shorter I will speed it up to the good parts. Hit play already.

I went to ‘Jeans West’. I talked to a buxom blond named …. er … Sheila? She helped me out I found the appropriate ‘dork suit’ and asked if I could get it with longer arms (I am an ape. Go ahead and say ‘knuckledragger’ I heard it before). Sheila said yes but I would have to come back in a few days. Tick Tock, Tick Tock. I come back and Sheila wasn’t there but C is and we seemed to hit it off. I have no idea where I summoned up the courage but I asked her out on a date. She said no. Tick Tock, Tick Tock. I come back unphased. I see Sheila and ask her about the girl named C. She liked my because I hooked her up with a nice commission on the threads and she agreed to plead my case with C. Tick Tock, Trick Clock. One day while bugging the shit out of C. she relented and agreed to go to Philly with me and see INXS at the Spectrum (still have that ticket stub). It was a gamble, if she didn’t go I was going to invite Beth. I was playing the odds.

C. and I go to see INXS and folks I can’t tell you what they played that evening. It was a blur till dawn.

I do remember that we never did it. You know … ‘it’ …. I absolutely know this to be 100% true. In many ways that first date was the beginning of our downward spiral. Well that and fear.

 

To this day I feel C. was in the witness protection program. I was with her for about a year. In that time some things occurred to me;

Why was her last name so usual? I won’t tell you her last name but think of it this way. How would you feel if you were introduced to a man named Mike Catastrophic or a woman named Clair Cardoor. C.’s last name was an ordinary word, ordinary but not used that often. Not a word that you would think could be a last name.

She had to spend some time with the cops every 2 weeks. I thought probation. It didn’t matter, she was a good kisser.

And the fella next door. C. told me if she wanted me dead, all she would have to do was tell the cat next door and he would get the job done.

That I had never really got to know her. For her, I was the casual acquaintance. For me, she was the only acquaintance.

She was a narcotic an here she was, on my arm.

She had a low growl that made you want to touch the spots that made her do it, again and again.

She liked to bite, I mean case closed.

 

 

C. and I never did sign the contracts on that relationship. We weren’t bound to each other and in retrospect this was best for our eventual break-up.